Sunday, May 15, 2011


Yet again I am being plagued by disturbing dreams.  Often at this time of year I am dreaming about school.  It seems that the transition and business of the end of the year brings on the school dreams.  I have had a couple odd school dreams.   However even more than school images  my Dad seems to be showing up a lot lately as I try to sleep.  He is alive in my dreams but his illness is always in the background and in many of my dreams he has been angry with me for whatever reason.   Last night's dream was frightening.  It took place in my home yet the setting was in the war torn middle east.  I conversed with Dad's doctor and told him that I thought Dad was dying.  The doctor then went on to tell me that my brother was sick too possibly with AIDS.  Where the heck did that come from????  Next my brother shows up in my home looking for food.  After scrounging in the cabinets and finding what he wanted he was gone.  Finally my family ended up running from bad guys in the desert.  This must have been just too much for my subconscious as I abruptly woke.  So strange.  In order to not return to the dream I prayed myself to sleep.  This is something my Mum taught me when I was a little girl.  She would have me say 'Hail Mary's' to help me fall asleep.  I have to say that for me this strategy works.   So clearly I did not have a restful night's sleep.  I find it harder and harder to shake off these strange dreams.  They stick with me throughout my waking hours.  I wish I knew what they meant.  More than anything I wish they would go away.

Not the most uplifting Sunday post but it is what I am managing in this moment.  If anyone has any pearls of wisdom about dream meaning please feel free to share.



Alicia said...

I've been thinking about this post a lot today.

If you think that dreams are your subconscious mind's way of working things out, of solving problems, of trying to tell you something, then it's worth trying to figure them out. But even so, not every dream -- or every piece of every dream -- is necessarily a message you need to unravel.

I used to dream up entire new episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, or have dreams of falling Tetris blocks. I think that I was watching too much TV or playing too many hours of computer games. On the other hand, one of my recurrent dreams has to do with my contact lenses -- I always knew that those dreams were telling me that I wasn't seeing things as clearly as I should.

The approach I have found most helpful for thinking about my dreams -- which may not work for you -- is to realize that the mind is a narcissist. Even when I'm dreaming about other people, I'm not really dreaming about THEM. Rather, each person in my dreams is some aspect of myself. Or, if it's about people I am close to, the dream may be about a part of me most dominated by my relationships with them.

I obviously don't know any more about than what you've written here. Aside from the obvious father-daughter relationship, you were also your dad's caretaker in his last illness (I think I remember that right). Why is caretaker-you mad at you? Is there someone you're not taking care of properly? Yourself, perhaps? And your brother? Who is he in your life (aside from brother)? What part of you feels sick? With something that slowly, inexorably is taking its toll on you? You're hungry. What are you looking for? Where in your life are you not being fed? The cabinets that used to hold sustenance are bare. And so, you are all in the desert, the parched wasteland, no shelter or protection from the elements or the vicissitudes of life.

Yeah, I'd wake up from that dream too. And pray myself back to sleep. That's actually the only use I've ever had for the Hail Mary! In my youth, as a new convert to Catholicism, I would try to pray it earnestly, and it never touched me. But it did help me sleep.

These are my ramblings; take them for what they are worth, or cast them aside as wasted pixels.

-- Alicia, wishing you a measure of peace and a good night's sleep

Barbara said...

Wow Alicia you have given me a lot to think about. I will reflect and write more tomorrow. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post. I must say that I have allowed myself to be in a bit of a funk today. I think part of that funk was my inability to shake this dream. You are very perceptive and your thoughts on my dream are telling. More tomorrow.


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