Tuesday, July 21, 2009


For the past six months to a year I have been grappling with some serious decisions regarding my Dad and his home, my childhood home.

You see Dad is on a fixed income and can no longer afford to keep his house. My brother and his family have lived in the basement apartment of the home for the past 8 years. The original purpose of them living with Dad was to help him financially, emotionally and with the upkeep on the house after my Mom passed away suddenly. Sadly this has not been the reality of the situation. The help has flowed in the opposite direction. It has been a difficult road as Dad has felt like he has been responsible for raising another family. Neither of us have had the courage to tell my brother and his family to leave the residence. In retrospect I wish I had had been able to be more forthright in my approach as I dealt with this situation. Sadly it has come to the point that we do have to sell the home. Right now we are thinking that it will have to be an investor that comes in and purchases the home. A lot of work will be needed to bring the home up to par, however the land that the home is on is worth the work.

There are panoramic ocean views

views from the deck

as well as access to a private beach.

beach access

Dad' beach

It is situated in a lovely ocean side community. I only wish I had the funds to purchase and fix up the home myself although that would open up another can of worms with my brother. The situation is so frustrating and I find myself procrastinating and creating other jobs for myself rather than attending to the sale of the home. I guess deep down in my heart of hearts I just don't want to sell that home. It's the home in which I grew up and where my Mom died. It is where my father planned to be buried from. I have so much anger pent up inside me toward my brother and sil. Why couldn't they have done the right thing all these years???? How can anyone think they can live for nothing and take such advantage of an elderly parent. I'm sure you can sense my angst. I guess I just need to move forward with my decision. I'm praying for the strength to do what needs to be done.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


Today was filled with adventure. We started out by watching the History Channel adventure Expedition Africa . It chronicles the experiences of four 21st century explorers as they try to recreate the experiences had by H.M. Stanley in the 1870's as he desperately tried to find a missing David Livingstone in the African jungle. The children were very interested in this program, especially 'N'. The show highlighted the beauty of Africa as well as the dangers. I was completely captivated by the story. So much so that I am in the process of doing research on both Livingstone and H.M. Stanley. I'm looking forward to learning more.

On to our own adventures. After lunch we decided to head down to the beach for the afternoon. We packed up drinks and a few snacks, towels, bags to hold our treasures and books and other various items that would keep everyone entertained. It was the type of day that most folks wouldn't typically see as a beach day. These are the day I enjoy most on the beach. We had the entire stretch of beach to ourselves. We walked to our favorite rock and then set up camp.

'N' quickly climbed to the top of his rock as 'n' and I searched for treasures. We found many shells as well as beautiful bits of sea glass. The wind picked up and the sun went behind the clouds but we continued to enjoy our time on the beach.

Both of the kids went into the water and spent a good amount of time wading. As they enjoyed the water I sat and soaked in the peaceful atmosphere. Clouds passed us by and sprinkled us with tiny drops of rain.

Finally we gathered our supplies and returned home.

It was a wonderful day. We are hoping to continue with our adventures tomorrow.


Thursday, July 9, 2009

Old Pics

So I finally figured out my new scanner and finding inspiration in the DVD I wrote about in my last post I thought I'd share some of the photos I scanned last night.

When my Mum was young she never thought much of her looks or herself. She always thought she was too thin and was even teased about her size. I remember conversations about this subject. When I look at her in these photos I see a beauty. I think she was exquisite. I find it so interesting that body image was an issue even in the 40's.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


As I sit and watch the continuing coverage of the Michael Jackson memorial I find myself becoming emotional. I am sitting with the emotion as I know it is not about the loss of Michael Jackson but my own loss that I have managed since my childhood, beginning with the loss of my beloved Aunt for whom I believe I was named. These feelings are compounded by a beautiful DVD PowerPoint presentation I received from my Uncle P who is the only surviving sibling from my Mum's family. He and I correspond via email and he has sent me several photos over the past months of my Mum; I knew this DVD was coming but What I didn't know was what it would open in me as I viewed the photos and listened to the music. I am welling up just thinking about the experience. This PowerPoint was produced by my second cousin, Uncle P's granddaughter and it was certainly a labor of love. It is a pictorial history of my Mum's family beginning with photos of her parents...Nanny and Papa... It is more than a Power Point it is a tribute to a family who existed in a bygone era. I saw faces that I see in my minds eye when I think of my childhood. The were smiling at me from my computer screen. I felt like I could reach out and touch them, oh how I wish I could.
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