Wednesday, April 14, 2010

To Enable or Not to Enable.....

That is the question.

As a kid and young adult I was always the 'responsible' one. I stood up to the bullies, worked hard at school, got good grades, got a job when I was in high school and paid part of my rent to my Mom. You know the whole nine yards. As an adult I saved my money, purchased a house, got married and then had kids. I've worked hard and done well.

The responsible one.

Unfortunately if there is a responsible sibling there is usually one on the other end of the spectrum; either very needy or simply irresponsible. It is this sibling in my family that always makes me feel guilty when I make the hard decisions. Wait; he doesn't make me feel guilty, I do that to myself. He puts me in the situations where I have to make difficult, adult decisions. Case in point. I had a message on my phone from him today. The only time he calls me is when he wants/needs something. The short story is that he wants money from me to pay bills. The money would be from money that had been set aside to ensure that the mortgage on Dad's house, where my brother and his family are living, gets paid through September as we go through the sale process. I had to say no to his request. Now I feel tremendously guilt, even though I know that I shouldn't. I know that I can't continue to fix things for him the way my parents did for his entire life, but I still feel bad!

Sometimes being the 'responsible' grown up is so overrated.

Oh well.


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