Monday, November 23, 2009

Still Reeling

Well as you can tell from the title of this post I am still reeling from the events of this past weekend over at Dad's.  I spoke with the social worker today to ask for her advise and just get  a neutral opinion.  She seemed to agree with me and I think was thankful to have the full picture.  I also asked her advise regarding informing my sisters from Dad's first marriage about the situation.  She is going to be visiting Dad on Wednesday so hopefully we can bring up the subject with the family and she can mediate the conversation.  

Anyway 'n' and I created a notebook for communication between hospice workers and family.  In time we'll track medication in this binder as well.  'n' made some lovely designs on the front cover as well as some of the pocket pages that I included in the binder.  We visited with Dad yesterday for a few hours.   It was a quiet visit.  He seems to be lost in thought much of the time and when I ask him what he is thinking about he says nothing.  I end up trying to share stories about my children and also memories of my childhood.  I read about 20 pages in the Kennedy book 'True Compass'.  He likes listening and only wants me to read it to him as I have offered to leave the book behind and he has said 'No I want you to read it'.  Sometimes it seems that I am just filling up the space with noise.  I'm not sure if I should just sit quietly and  be.... maybe that is the answer.  It is hard for me however to just be still.  Today's visit was quiet at first but after a while Dad sat up and chit chatted. We talked about how he and Mum met.  He's been thinking about this a lot.  He told me that they lived happily ever after.  He also told me that he was shy.  I just love him so much! He is such a kind soul.  He has had a difficult life.  He has not always made the best choices but then none of us do.  He has always been good to me and my children.  I will miss him so much when he is gone.  


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