Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Under Control?

This will be our third Christmas without Dad.  It's been a decade or so since our last Christmas with Nanny and Ma.  I have a lot of experience managing the holidays without certain loved ones.  There is always a wistful longing that goes along with the happy festivities.  I've become accustomed to this and try to stay focussed on the moment and on creating lasting memories for my children.  Well I have been feeling like I have this emotional piece pretty much under control.  Until just a few moments ago.

I have not walked Flicka around the complete neighborhood loop for a while.  Today it is relatively warm considering it is December 21st.  It is a great day for a walk with a puppy.  When I walk the complete loop of the neighborhood I always pass the home of my Mum and Dad's dear friends Polly and Al.  Passing their home reminds me of many years ago when I would see them each weekend at my home.  Friday or Saturday evenings were always enjoyed together.  Truly they were a part of my extended family.  As I approached their home I noticed a decoration hanging outside their door.  A flood of memories came at me.  You see the decoration.. a wooden santa image affixed to a three dimentional sled,  was lovingly cut and assembled by Dad almost 18 years ago.  The pieces were then painted by Mum and me.  I had no idea that Polly and Al even had this piece never mind that they made it a part of their holidays.  Needless to say the tears came as I walked home remembering.  

Just when I thought I had everything under control I am humbled by this experience.  I have such vivid memories of past Christmas celebrations.  I miss those days even as I try to stay present and carry on....  

1 comment:

Lydia said...

Oh Barbara, I can imagine the memories that came flooding back. How sweet though that your parents friends still have that and clearly cherish it.

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