Friday, July 9, 2010


I have been plagued by bad dreams of late.  It seems every morning I wake when R is getting ready to get up for work and I am either coming out of a bad dream or I slip into one as soon as I drift back to sleep.  This morning was no different.  N woke me up at 7:30 as a neighborhood friend was calling to see if we could watch her son.  I was happy that the call came as I was in the middle of a confusing dream that left me sad and teary as I awoke.  I think my mind is trying to work out the complications of my life.  Am I doing the right thing?  Would my parents be ok with my decisions?  Am I really just what they say I am?  How will I get through this and come out ok on the other side?  These are certainly questions that come up during my waking hours so why wouldn't they be tumbling around as I am in my dreams.  I also wonder if all that is going on with the sale of Dad's house isn't just delaying an onslaught of unresolved grief.  It feels as if it has been a huge distraction for me over the last several months.  

When we think of the word heartbreak I guess it is most associated with the loss of a romantic relationship. When I read the article that arrived in my inbox today I realized that it is just what I am feeling. Heartbreak....  for the man who took care of me as a little girl, helped to teach me how to stand on my own and counseled me as a young woman,  shared in the joys, hardships and sorrows of my life and then honored me by allowing me to care and advocate for him when the time came.  Oh how my heartbreaks with the loss of this man.  

July 9, 2010
Stronger for It
Mending A Broken Heart

Heartbreak happens to all of us. Often the pain that wounds us most deeply also leaves the most enduring mark upon us.

Heartbreak happens to all of us and can wash over us like a heavy rain. When experiencing a broken heart, our ethereal selves are saturated with grief, and the overflow is channeled into the physical body. Loss becomes a physical emptiness, and longing is transmuted into a feeling that often cannot be put into words. Mending a broken heart can seem a task so monumental that we dare not attempt it for fear of damaging ourselves further. But heartbreak, like all emotions, falls under the spell of our conscious influence.

Often the pain that wounds us most deeply also leaves the most enduring mark upon us. The shock that becomes the tender, throbbing ache of the heart eventually leads us down the path of enlightenment, blessing our lives with a new depth and richness.

Acknowledging heartbreak's impermanence by no means dulls its sting for it is the sting itself that stimulates healing. The pain is letting us know that we need to pay attention to our emotional selves, to sit with our feelings and be in them fully before we can begin to heal. It is said that time heals all wounds. Time may dull the pain of a broken heart, but it is fully feeling your pain and acknowledging it that will truly help you heal. Dealing with your heartache in a healthy way rather than putting it off for tomorrow is the key to repair. Gentleness more than anything else is called for. Most important, open yourself to the possibility of loving, trusting, and believing again. When, someday soon, you emerge from the cushion of your grief, you will see that the universe did not cease to be as you nursed your broken heart. You emerge on the other side of the mending, stronger for all you have experienced.
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