Friday Fill Ins on Sunday?

So I am going to get back to following Friday Fill Ins. As I missed this past Friday I thought I would use it to close out my weekend.



1. Plans and schedules keep life moving smoothly from September to June but are things I happily abandon once vacation comes around.

2. I'm happy when things are copacetic if you know what I mean ;).

3. The last thing I drank was an ice cold water bottle.

4. One of the most valuable things in my life is the time I spend with my family just 'being' together.

5. I like pepperoni on my pizza.

6. Dear November, please give us the time we need to ease Dad into the holiday season gently and to prepare us all for what will come over the next several months. Let all the hurts of the past be healed and the promise of everlasting life fill our hearts.

New Traditions

Today was spent relaxing.  I woke early due to a neighborhood dog who was barking loudly throughout the early morning hours.  Poor dog must have really wanted to be inside.  Anyway,  two leisurely cups of coffee some HGTV and emails took up most of the morning.  'n' and I went out and took care of some errands.  She had to pick up a gift for a friends' birthday party next week.  Then for the second Saturday in a row we went to a local cupcake shop called Cupcake Charlies.  This little shop is wonderful. Lovely teenage girls man the store on the weekends.  They have dozens of cupcakes on display in their case and are always working on mixing up more frosting and batches as customers come into the shop.  Today 'n' and I tried three flavors; funfetti, lemon, and raspberry chocolate.  We also picked up hostess with the mostess, and vanilla with chocolate for R and N.   It was agreed that at future outings to CC's we will only choose two flavors to try.  That last cupcake put us both over the edge.  Too much of a good thing.  After enjoying our decadent treat we walked the waterfront.  It was good to get some exercise and it is always fun to people watch as the tourists continue to discover the joys of our waterfront.  We thought that we might walk our beach later in the day but instead curled up together on the couch and took and hour and a half nap.  Fresh air and cupcakes will do that to you.  We ended the day with a two hour American Idol Wii competition.  It was a good day.

Peace!

Decisions

Over the last weeks I have been grappling with Dad's declining health, cancer diagnosis, treatment options and how and when to share this information with extended family. I took the plunge last night by sending out a prayer request to family. I must say I am overwhelmed with the responses I have received. Just when I felt like I must face things alone with only the support of my immediate family I have realized again that none of us are truly alone. All you have to do is reach out to those who love you. I am learning to do this and to ask for help. Responses started with a call from my BIL, T late last night and moved on to heartfelt emails and facebook messages from my 'big' cousins today. I also heard from my dear friend M. The thoughts and prayers of these dear people mean the world to me, more than they know.

Well today was our second consultation with Dr. Wein at Tufts Medical Center in Boston. Dad didn't remember that we were going into Boston. Thankfully my brother was able to drive us into the city. When I spoke with Dad this morning before our trip he was uncertain about the surgery. I tried to explain to him the implications of surgery verses the alternative-doing nothing. I told him we would support him no matter what his choice. He then said he thought he might not want to do the surgery. I told him how I reached out to family to let them know what was going on and that everyone is sending him prayers and love. He was speechless for several minutes; overcome by emotions I believe. It wasn't until I said "Getting old really sucks sometimes" and it snapped him back into the conversation. He asked "What did you say?" I repeated "Getting old really stinks sometimes" and our conversation continued. I think my bad language surprised him. :) So I went over to his house at about 10:30 to get ready for the trip. He spiffied himself up....with my help; beard trim, hair cut, sponge bath, clean clothes the whole nine yards. We were off and on the road by 11:00. He actually seemed a bit better and brighter than the last time we went out together on Monday. We were in Boston in no time, an hour early for our appointment so B took us for a ride around Southie and over by the waterfront and showed us all the buildings he had worked on when he was working with the Carpenter's Union. It was a good way to pass the time.

Even after sightseeing we were half an hour early to our appointment. We were called in right away. Dr. Wein came in and shared a lot of the same information as he had shared before. The tumor is a T4a. It can be treated for a cure with surgery. Unfortunately due to lymph node involvement(just 1) his 5yr survivability rate is at about 30%. The other option...to do nothing is will result in death probably in 6 months. After listening to the doctor again Dad changed his mind and thought he should have the surgery. So for now we are going to go forward with the cardiac testing planned for next Wednesday and will use those results to inform our decision. Personally I just want to make a decision and move forward, but it isn't about just me so I will be respectful of the process and support Dad as he goes through the testing. It is so difficult because he forgets what the doctors say after he leaves the office to the point of forgetting he even has cancer. I feel like this is going to be a decision made by the family more than by him.

Peace!

Back to Boston

Heading up to Boston again tomorrow. Hopefully we'll have some more specific information from the surgeons on Dad's surgery and all the implications to follow. I'm guessing I'm on my own, but this will have to be the last trip alone. Dad is visibly getting weaker and weaker and I don't think I can safely do this by myself for much longer. Please send positive energy, prayers and love our way. I think that tomorrow will be a pivotal day for us in the decision making process.

Peace!

Sunset

I wonder what it feels like to be living in the sunset of your life.

A Poignant Moment

So as you all know I've been spending a good deal of my free time lately taking Dad to various doctors appointments. Virtually every Monday and Friday has been consumed with appointments. I have become quite adept at people watching. It passes the time as we wait for our turn and there is always a wait. Well yesterday we were at Dad's primary care office. We sat down across from an elderly woman and a younger woman presumably her daughter. The office is relatively small and Dad is not much of a conversationalist so as we sat waiting I couldn't help but overhear the conversation taking place across from me. The younger woman was joking that they would have to wait until 'Joe' came back. The mom seemed confused by this and the younger woman went on to say "Remember you are going home today" and Joe is going to take you home. To this the elderly woman said "Thank God I'm going home" Then she turned to her daughter and looked deep into her eyes and said "Oh Judy you have been so good to me" I had to turn away because it was such a tender moment I had tears in my eyes... as I do now. There is something so sweet, perhaps bittersweet about the relationship between an adult child and their aging parent. It is a very difficult road to travel.

Fun, Fun, Fun

Happy Halloween!

Bounty Hunter for hire!

Twenties era flapper.

Could she be any happier? We had so much fun doing her makeup! I don't want to grow up too fast but I can't wait to buy her some Bare Essentials beauty products.

Check out the scar on this bounty hunters face. He's been around!

Looks like my flapper will be safe with her bounty hunter brother. What do you think?

So once the fam was off to trick or treat, leaving me to distribute candy to the neighborhood ghouls, I decided to set up the table. Nothing like waiting til the last minute to decorate, but there has been a lot going on so better late than never :)

Boo!

November-Writing Month!

Well November is here again! I'm happy to say goodbye to the craziness of Halloween and hello to the joys of Thanksgiving! November is write every day month for me. I'm going to do my best to renew my energies and enthusiasm here at Surfside Serenity. I do have a lot on my plate with my Dad's health situation, but I have to continue on with my life....so I don't go crazy.

That being said I'll give a very brief update on Dad's situation. This past week we went to our local oncologist in the hopes that there might be some medical option that would save Dad's voice. We found out the the cancer is a T3 or T4. It is a slow growing cancer and has probably been growing for at least a year and a half. The doctor was so kind. I had a long list of typed questions that he answered. He told us that the medical option would not work for Dad. The coarse of chemo and radiation would be so strong that the treatment would likely kill Dad. So our options are clear. Go for the surgery and save his life or do nothing and the cancer will continue to grow and eventually cause him to aspirate get pneumonia and die. The doctor bluntly said it is not a nice way to meat your maker. He also said that if it were his father he would have him go to Boston for the surgery. So I guess our decision is made. I must say that I am terrified that he will go into surgery and either not come through the surgery or that he will end up in a nursing home; something he is adamantly against. Tomorrow he will see his primary care physician and we'll talk to him about if Dad is strong enough to endure a 6 hour surgery. Sigh...... Next Friday it is back into Boston. We'll see how quickly we can get the ball rolling.

On another note the NAEYC re accreditation process is moving forward for my school. The validator came last year and was very pleasant and respectful of staff and children. She looked at my class and portfolio, two other preschool classes and the kindergarten. Off the record she said we had a beautiful school and that we were doing a fabulous job. We'll be celebrating on Tuesday with a special luncheon. Yay!

Well off to figure out diner. I'll post some Halloween pictures tomorrow. The kids looked great and I decorated the table for the evening.

Peace!

This Stinks!

So I took Dad to his surgical consult at Tufts Medical Center. The news is not good. The doctor is talking a complete removal of Dad's voice box as well as the lymph node that lit up on the pet scan if we want to treat for a cure. We were given a lot of information....none of which was retained by Dad. The doctor is taking Dad's case to the tumor board that is made up of oncologists, surgeons, radiologists and medical doctors who will look at all the information and analyze the options. We'll go back on the 30th to hear their findings. I feel awful about this entire situation. Again I did not expect the news to be so bad. After doing some research again I'm guessing that the cancer is either stage 3 or stage 4. I am unsure if Dad can tolerate the surgery and it's life altering results. I think his brain damage/short term memory loss from the years of alcohol abuse will impact how he recovers. It also impacts the decision making process. I'm feeling a huge weight on my shoulders. I also keep thinking that we should have found this earlier. Sigh.....

A Call to Action!

Come learn how we can all effectively advocate and support our schools this year.

Times are tough, and our schools are working harder than ever to help our children thrive. Join Plymouth Superintendent Gary Maestas, Plymouth Stand for Children members, and others in an important conversation about how we can support our schools even in these very challenging economic times.

When: Wednesday, October 21, 6:00-7:30 PM
Registration begins at 6:00 PM
Program begins at 6:30 PM

Where: The Loring Center, 386 Court St, Plymouth

RSVP: Please RSVP to Katie@stand.org

Bring your thoughts, your friends, and your family!
Childcare, Entertainment by Big Ryan, and dinner from Water Street Café

will be provided for children.


“The problem is that we don't have enough grassroots democracy. You can't do it alone. If you're sitting at home feeling depressed about what's happening in your child's school, you need to get out and participate in a grassroots advocacy group like Stand for Children.” – Representative Steven D’Amico

Stand for Children – 781-891-1300- www.stand.org/ma
For additional information, visit us on Facebook at the
Stand for Children- MA Plymouth Chapter page!

Scans

Well today my SIL and brother took Dad for his scans. He had a PET scan and a cat scan. If he comes back clear we will be able to consider the option of surgery to remove the cancer on his vocal chord. If not the only choice will be chemo and radiation. Not sure that he can tolerate the chemo. He has not been eating and is even having a hard time getting in his recommended number of boost drinks each day. What is even more worrisome is that his memory seems to be deteriorating. He has short term memory loss issued due to alcohol abuse but that had stabilized. I'll be speaking with his ENT doctor tomorrow as well as his primary care physician. Hopefully I'll have good news to report. Please send positive energy this way if you can.

Peace!

Relief!

Well for anyone who may be following the diagnostic drama that has been my life lately; I have good news. My ultrasound came back fine! Thank goodness. I do have cysts but they are of no consequence. Now I can focus on Dad and his health issues. I am so grateful that I am able to help him and not in need of any treatment myself.

Peace!

The First of the Results

So today was a mixed up day to say the least. After getting the children off to school the plan was to go to Dad's and get him ready for his 10:20 doctors appointment to hear the results of his biopsy.

When I arrived at Dad's house he was still lying in bed and after he got up and went in to take a shower he decided he didn't feel well and couldn't do the appointment. I think the problem came from several sources. Not enough to eat, getting up and going to quickly and perhaps some agitation due to my insistence that he be showered before going to the doctors. (something he actually didn't do to my chagrin)

Turned out that I was able to reschedule the appointment for the afternoon. We went in and the Doctor examined Dad and gave us the news. He has squamous cell cancer of the larynx. He will need to go for a couple more scans before we know the stage of the cancer. These scans will be scheduled for next week. We have an appointment with a surgeon at Tufts Medical Center in Boston and will also meet with an oncology team at our local surgery in case we have to go that route. I'm worried. I don't know how much Dad wants to fight this thing and how much his body and psyche can take. It is a huge worry and while Dad will be managing the physical aftermath I'll be managing everything else....logistics, schedules, transportation etc. Watching your parent age is so difficult. In my minds eye I still see the strapping man that I remember from my childhood. In reality he is just a shell of that man.

That is not all that is on my plate. On Monday I will go for an ultrasound on my right breast to determine if I have a mass or a cyst. Please send all of your positive energy and prayer this way as I can't imagine helping my Dad through his cancer and fighting my own battle as well.

Peace!

What a Week!

Well this has been a most draining week. We got through Dad's biopsy on Thursday. It was a long day. We reported to the local hospital at 7:15 which meant being up and over to Dad's by 6:30am. As much as I didn't want to be out and about at such an early hour I was pleasantly surprised by one of the most beautiful sunrises over the ocean. I had forgotten how lovely it is to look at the sun as it comes up on the horizon. It was truly breathtaking. I wished that I had my camera. Anyway we did not get any results from the procedure. That will come next Friday. Now Dad is on a soft food diet and working to cut down his pack a day smoking habit to 10 or fewer smokes a day by next Friday. He's doing pretty good with it with the help of some medicine and will power not to mention a daughter who hides and rations the dastardly smokes!

Dad's procedure was not the end of the trials of this week. On Friday I had to go in for a repeat mammogram. Additional digital images of both breasts were taken. On a call back visit patients wait to meet with the radiologist to get the results of the additional images. So after being rather tightly squeezed by the machine I went back into the waiting room. I finally met with the radiologist who explained why there was a need for more images, overlapping breast tissue and the like. He went on to say that while the left side appeared to have been just a case of tissue needing to be thinned out by the machine that the right side showed something. He did an exam and could feel something. When he palpated the spot it did not hurt (not good from what I have read). He called it a cyst and has me coming back a week from Monday. He will have me go for an ultrasound of the area and then again I will meet with the doctor after the exam. The ultrasound will determine if the cyst is a fluid filled cyst or something else...a lump or a mass. So the waiting begins. The ironic thing is that when Dad got the news about the mass on his vocal chord one of my first thoughts was.... oh great we'll end up doing radiation together.... Please say a prayer that this is not the case. I'll keep you updated.

Peace!