Mellow Yellow Monday!

The above photos document the process of making my own laundry detergent from this recipe.  It was a fun process and I spent the weekend trying out my new product.  I am happy to report that it works great.  

Peace!  

Live! Live! Live!

I've been thinking about the movie Auntie Mame.  This was one of my Mum's favorites.

I thought I'd share a clip that compliments my previous post.

Thinking

So I recently read an article from Daily Om and have found it haunting my thoughts.  Entitled Actively Participating, this article focuses on being an active part of your own life.   The article begins: Showing up for your life means actively participating in our own life rather than hiding and going through the motions.   This statement has stuck with me all day.  I don't think that I hide from life but there are definite times when I'm not actively participating.  I'm not sure if that lack of participation comes from a place of insecurity or a sense of feeling uncomfortable in certain circumstances and situations.  Today for instance, I drove n to a birthday party. I found myself feeling uncertain as I walked into the situation.  I don't think n noticed but when I left I thought about my interactions and felt as if I could have been more engaged with the other Mom's in the room.  Perhaps this article has me leaning on the more critical side but I do see a lack of participation or perhaps a willingness to sit back and let things happen around me.  This is also a trait that runs in my family to some extent.   The women in my family, my mother and her sisters were all kind, sweet, soft spoken and demure.  I never remember seeing any of them react in a pushy way to any kind of stimuli.  I guess I follow in this pattern.  Is this a bad thing?  No not in all situations, however there are times when I should be more forward.  Another instance from today comes to mind.  At Target n and I were waiting to be helped in electronics and as we stood, waiting patiently another pushy woman walked right in front of us and interrupted the clerk who was helping another family.  He ended up calling someone to come to help in the department.  I have to say that I was thoroughly annoyed by the situation.  As annoyed as I was at the pushy woman I was equally disturbed with my own actions or lack there of in the situation.  I guess I was just going through the motions rather than taking charge of the situation.  I dislike that about myself.  Sometimes I think I am just way too much of a nice guy/pushover!  I am going to try to be better about taking action, actively participating and making things happen in my life.  I want to show up and teach my children how to do the same.  

Peace!

Friday Fill Ins-10

And...here we go!

1. Oh gross! I thought it was a glass of Coke but when I took a sip it was actually Jim Beam and Coke!!! Yuck!!(true, true, true   happened at my Aunt's home when I was a kid... ended up swigging a huge gulp of Dad's cocktail and then spitting it into the sick)

2. If I had a bucket list I would put reconciliation with my brother right at the top and I would love to be able to say well THAT's off my bucket list!

3. No, as hard as I have worked on it I still have a difficult time being assertive and telling it like it is... why  do I care so much about what others think? Hmmmm figuring this out should go on my bucket list too.

4. My children are a huge chunk of my heart and soul.

5. And then we decided to gut the entire building and basically start from scratch... rebuilding from the inside out.

6. I can't forget about the craziness that is my relationship with my brother.  It saddens me and gives me nightmares.  I need to work on letting go and moving on, sigh.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dinner out with the family and an evening full of new 'kid' shows, tomorrow my plans include bringing n to her friend's b-day party and going on a brief photo adventure to kill some time and Sunday, I want to just relax but there is a lot to do including more housework, prepping for next week and getting out to purchase a tub for the 2nd bath over at 40 M!


Peace!

Simple Woman's Daybook Week 10

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...I see an ink black evening.  Looking forward to longer days once we spring ahead this weekend. 



I am thinking...about how happy I am that today is my Friday!   Looking forward to n's wax museum at school tomorrow.  Should be fun.  She is going to pose as Shaun White the snowboard/skateboard champion. 



I am thankful for...the promise of spring.  



From the kitchen..leftovers and shakeology for me! 



I am wearing...slippers, black cords, purple vest and black tshirt.  Looking forward to putting on my jammies. 



I am creating...more plans to put together several sets of cards including my angel print on original watercolor, hot wax prints, and photo cards.  I have all the pieces just need to construct the cards.   This weekend I'll work on this project.  



I am going...to go to bed early.  



I am reading...nothing at the moment. 



I am hoping...that the feed to my blog starts working so that my friend A can catch all my posts. :) 



I am hearing...King of Queens.... very funny show.  



Around the house...I see a huge mess...again!  Will I ever catch up???



One of my favorite things...is relaxing during the weekend.  Not sure how much relaxing I'll be doing considering how much housework there is to be done. Yikes!



A few plans for the rest of the week:  wax museum at n's school,  Cupcake Charlies while n's at a friends' birthday party, picking out a tub for 40 M and prepping for next week.   



Here is a picture I am sharing..

Peace!

Wordless Wednesday

Food for Thought

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” -George Eliot


This quote with it's accompanying reflection was in my inbox today.  Very fitting to receive this as I have been thinking a lot about time and who I am and who I want to be since my birthday passed this weekend.  I turned 42 this year.  This is not a 'big' birthday but for me, this year it holds much significance.  When I reflect on the lives of my parents and look at my own life I realize that I am 'half way' there.  I am now in the second half of my life.  I am truly middle aged.  It is a lot to take in and process.  


Recently a blogger friend hosted a contest.  The contest focussed on change and how each of us can be forever changed by a moment, event, thought etc.  I thought about participating in this contest and knew exactly what I would write but couldn't bring myself to write the essay.  Now, after my birthday I think I can write the words that started to bubble up mid February in response to this challenge.  


Every person is capable of change and being changed, but forever changed is a different story.  Thinking of all that has happened in my life I could easily say that I have been forever changed by marrying R, giving birth to my children or by going through the death of both of my parents. Any of those statements would be true.  I think that using any of these examples would be the easy and expected answer to the forever changed question.  Taking the easy way out has never been in my character. 


During the months prior to Dad's death I was completely and irrevocably changed by one singular realization.  After one of my regular afternoon visits with Dad I felt especially vulnerable and as I sat with my feelings and thoughts it came to me and hit me like a ton of bricks... I am mortal,  I am going to die too and someday I will leave behind my family.  This basic fact of humanity had never truly occurred to me before. I had dealt with death on many occasions: beloved pets, extended family, peers, and parent.  Why had it never sunk in that my fate was exactly the same?  I don't know.  I guess there is a level of self-preservation that serves to protects our psyche.  When I finally realized my own mortality that afternoon I felt sick to my stomach, sad, frightened and panicky.  I began to spiral into a full fledged panic attack.  When I finally came back into my own body I realized that I had an opportunity.  I can choose how to live my life.  Time is too precious to live mindlessly.  The moment when I realized my own mortality was the moment I was born again.  Born into the life of my own making.  No more excuses only choices.  I am in control and can choose who I want to be.  It is not too late.  I have the second half of my life ahead of me and plan to live it gracefully, mindfully with love in my heart. I have been forever changed and am grateful. 


Peace!  

Mellow Yellow Monday!

I love how the sunshine changes the colors of the trees.  The essence of yellow is what I'm going for with these photos!

Thinking Spring

Peace!

It Was a Happy Day!

Peace!

Friday Fill Ins-9

And...here we go! 

1. Bring your favorite appetizer to share and I'll cook the meal.  We'll relax and enjoy an evening together.

2. Concensus will never be reached until are included in the conversation.

3. Home is exactly where you'll find my heart.

4. Well, you see, staying positive is what I do but sometimes it takes so much energy that I go down the wrong path and think the glass is half empty rather than half full.

5.  I have faith that it will be springtime  soon!

6. But what if Suzie Sunshine never comes home.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to our relaxed Friday routine, tomorrow my plans include celebrating my birthday with lemon ricotta cake YUMM and Sunday, I want to be creative !


Peace!

Update on 40 M

Hop over to Restoring the House that Built Me to check out what is happening at the old homestead.  Things are starting to move along quickly!

Peace!

Grammy

So this past weekend Grammy passed away.  She was 95 years old and had lived a long life.  I remember the first time I met her was at a Mother's Day brunch at the local Sheraton hotel.  Her appearance reminded me so much of my Aunt May that I immediately fell in love with Grammy.  That first meeting was long before I married R.  In the years before we married and the years just after our wedding we only visited with Grammy occasionally.  There was a rift between her and her daughter, R's Ma.  They did not get along so get togethers were few and far between.  After N was born we saw more of Grammy.  She was always kind to me.  She delighted in N and showered him with gifts.    I did not know the side of her that Ma and the rest of the family knew and I had always been taught to take people as they treat you and not to judge on the experiences of others.  During the years before n's birth we spent at least one weekend a month visiting with Grammy at her house on the cape.  Over the years we spent a lot of time with Grammy.  She was not always easy to be around, but I am thankful that my children have good memories of the times spent together.  She was the only Grandmother that my daughter knew and for many years she and her husband were the only healthy grandparent figures in my children's lives.   For the past several years she has lived in New Hampshire.  I can honestly say that I have missed visiting with Grammy but circumstances made it too difficult.   I am happy that she is now reunited with all of her family.  I will treasure the good memories, let go of the bad and hold her close to my heart.

Peace!

Wordless Wednesday

Simple Woman's Daybook Week 9

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...I see a hill of brown leaves just waiting for the warm spring breezes to blow them away to reveal the green growth hidden underneath.   Spring is coming.  



I am thinking...about how happy I am that N came over to 40 M last night.  It was a HUGE breakthrough!  He has not been there since August.  I feel like we have broken through a wall and made it to the other side.  His reaction to the newness that is 40 M was good.  He was happy to be there running through the house and swinging on the ropes suspended from the old cherry tree our front.  My heart was singing! 



I am thankful for...the hope of longer days, warmer weather and the change of the season. Not to mention that we only have 7 weeks until next school vacation. 



From the kitchen...some sort of fried rice for dinner tonight.  We'll see how it comes out....onions, carrots, celery, kilbasa and rice.  With the addition of seasonings I think it will be a yummy dish.



I am wearing...slippers, dark purply cordueroys and my pajama top for now....until I run downstairs to get my shirt and vest!  School clothes it is.



I am creating...plans to put together several sets of cards including my angel print on original watercolor, hot wax prints, and photo cards.  I have all the pieces just need to construct the cards.   This weekend I'll work on this project.  



I am going...to have to go to bed earlier!  I am tired.  How can one day of work wipe me out like it does?   



I am reading...nothing at the moment.  I finished the new Percy Jackson book.  It was outstanding and I was sad to be finished.  I think I'll go back to the G'Hoole series.  



I am hoping...that all the men working at 40 M will work peacefully together to get the job done.  They are all an important part of finishing the project and creating a dream.  Septic and plumbing should be inspected this week.  The electrical looks great so far.  I never thought I'd be so thrilled to see wires and pvc pipes in a space but boy was I thrilled last night when I went over to see the progress.  I'll be creating a post over at the other blog to share the progress.  t



I am hearing...the adventure of children's television and the crumpling of poptart wrappers.  :)



Around the house...I see a huge mess!  Being sick this past weekend put me behind in all my housework.  I'll catch up next weekend.  



One of my favorite things...is anticipating the change of the seasons.  I am so looking forward to warmer days where we can spend more time outside and hopefully plan and execute a garden space this year.  



A few plans for the rest of the week:  getting through the work week with more sleep, working on cards and housework, celebrating my birthday on Saturday with family and maybe some friends.  I think that is enough.



Here are two pictures I am sharing..

Peace!