To Let Go

I found this here and fell in love.  What do you think?

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around in her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone on her.”
~Earnest Holmes

The Weekend!

It's been a beautiful weekend!  This is my kind of weather; sunny and in the mid 60's to mid 70's.  Looks like this pattern is going to follow through for most of next week too.  I wish it could be like this every day of the year.  We all seem to have settled into our school routines rather quickly.  I wonder what next week will bring in terms of homework for N and n.  It was very light last week...and that makes life so much easier.  It's funny when I'm working I typically don't get home until 5pm at the very earliest, usually 5:30 is the norm and almost every day last year there was some sort of homework crisis that had to be solved, along with making dinner, picking up, etc, etc.  Hopefully this year will be a little different.

I went back last night to see where I was at this time last year and read through many posts.  Unbelievable. I am looking forward to a peaceful fall.  I'm hoping to deal with any emotions that bubble up in relation to our families loss of Dad last year.  I am going to try to be happy and not feel guilty for that happiness.  I often find myself in that trap.  I don't know why but I do!  We will be focussed on fixing up my Dad's house with the hopes of selling it in the future.  The one nagging worry I have is if and when I'll hear from my brother and how that will work out.  I love him very much and wish her were in a different situation.  As much as I love him I can't go back to being his enabler and protector.  Those are damaging roles that thankfully I have shed.  Only time will tell.

For now I am committed to be positive, live in the moment and enjoy all the blessing that surround my family.

Peace!

Remembering Joseph Roberto September 11

Joseph Roberto

37 years old

Midland, New Jersey

A Family is

a circle of strength and love.

With every birth and every union the circle grows.

Every joy shared adds more love.

Every crisis faced together

makes the circle stronger.

Joseph "Joe" Roberto was a son, brother, uncle, husband, and father.

He was devoted to his family and his family devoted to him.

He was a friend and colleague.

He maintained a solid work ethic and held himself to high expectations.

He enjoyed life: motorcycles, riding his motorcycle and investigating the battlefields in Virginia and West Virginia, exploring nature with his son, collecting coins, putting up his parents holiday decorations and gathering his own.

He is loved.

When I first received my name from the 2996 project I felt an immediate connection to Joseph Roberto as he shares a variation of my father's name. As I started my research I found it difficult to find much information to share, but I continued to dig and search. Finally I found this site and I learned much more about this person whom we all lost on September 11, 2001. I am honored and humbled to share this tribute today on the 9th anniversary of the greatest loss we have felt on our soil. May the Roberto family be blessed and my God bless the United States of America.

Peace

Crazy Cloud Storms or Storm Clouds :)

Wordless Wednesday

One Day Down

Well we all made it through the first day of the new school year!  As expected N is slow to adjust to the new schedule and would rather skip the entire thing all together.  n loved school.  She enjoyed her teacher and made many new friends.  She is excited to go back!

My first day was lovely.  Smaller classes, children who have already learned so much and a wonderful teaching partner.

Even with the first day under our belts I had another fitful nights rest.  I'm hoping that this isn't going to be my new normal.  We shall see.

Back To School

It's the 6th of September and all through the house
the children are crying and lying about
the Moms and the Dads in the neighborhood cheer
glad tidings abound it's the start of the school year,
pencils are sharpened, notebooks are packed
the children resist hitting the sack
menus are planned and snacks stored away
oh when, oh when will they hit the hay
the alarm will sound early, too early for me
coffee to brew, or perhaps just some tea
in the cool fall air,  faces are bright,
children are reassured
they'll get through their fright
one last picture
a kiss, and a hug
to the bus they go
a year of adventures
begin again
soon they will know
how fast time does fly
but for now just a quick wave good bye.

Realizations

Today was a glorious day!  The air was crisp and clean at first and slowly it warmed but not so much that it was hot just enough to take the chill out of the air.  It was a perfect fall day and an example of my favorite kind of weather.  When you can choose to wear pants or shorts I am a happy girl.  Today I split the difference and wore my cropped pants.  Most of the day was spent organizing  laundry and thoughts in preparation for all of us returning to our school schedule.

My good friend C had her annual family cookout.  I made a yummy dip for the festivities.   R's been spending a lot of time at 40 Mayflower 'deconstructing' and was not able to come with me to the cookout.  Both of the children opted out too!  It was nice to go to the cookout and not have to 'babysit' so to speak, but it felt funny.  It was nice to catch up with some folks at the party.

I have to say that I think I finally realized something about myself.  While I enjoy socializing I prefer to socialize in smaller more intimate groups.  For whatever reason  I find larger social groups of people distracting and almost anxiety provoking.  I can handle it and usually am able to settle in and enjoy myself but I do better in smaller group settings.  It's strange however that when in a larger group for a work or Stand for Children related event I am not as distracted or nervous.  I would like to work on this quirk in my personality.  I have also recently been reflecting on my aversion to controversy and drama and believe I need to learn how to better handle such situations so that they pop up less frequently in my life.  Not quite sure how I'm going to desensitize myself to these situations but I'll figure it out eventually.

Peace!

Spent some time over at Dad's house today.  We saw an amazing cruise ship in the early afternoon.  I tried to capture it with my camera but as far as I'm concerned came up short.  It looked so much larger in person.

Hop Along!

I forgot about the Hop Along Friday.... Think I'll go check out some different blogs.

Peace!

Fun with Photos!

I've been trying to learn more about Aperture 3, my photo editing/organizing program.  I've been trying to figure out how to use the 'brushes'.  I made some progress yesterday.

 

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

So he's not a baby anymore!  I can hardly believe that 12 years ago today I was in the hospital holding my little baby boy.  He has grown into a wonderful human being.  I am thankful for his unique perspective on life.   I am thankful for his desire to keep at least one foot in the land of childhood while there are so many pressures to grow up so fast in our society.  I am thankful that he is strong, healthy, smart, persistent and sensitive.  I am thankful that he chose me.

Peace!

Me and My Shadow!

I'm Back!

Well I was never really gone... 


When I started August Break it felt like such a huge challenge to post a photo representing each day, every day for the entire month.  Well I did it and it felt good.  I'm going to try to continue my photo practice and return to my writing practice as well.  I'm diving into the fall schedule this week as I prepare for the children to come back to school and for my children to return to their schools.  


On a different note I was saddened to hear that Michael Douglas' throat cancer has been diagnosed as stage 4.  Brings me back to last year at this time when Dad began his journey.  Very sad.  


Well that's all for now.  I'm hoping to have some lovely outdoor shots from school today.


Peace!