Sunset

I wonder what it feels like to be living in the sunset of your life.

A Poignant Moment

So as you all know I've been spending a good deal of my free time lately taking Dad to various doctors appointments. Virtually every Monday and Friday has been consumed with appointments. I have become quite adept at people watching. It passes the time as we wait for our turn and there is always a wait. Well yesterday we were at Dad's primary care office. We sat down across from an elderly woman and a younger woman presumably her daughter. The office is relatively small and Dad is not much of a conversationalist so as we sat waiting I couldn't help but overhear the conversation taking place across from me. The younger woman was joking that they would have to wait until 'Joe' came back. The mom seemed confused by this and the younger woman went on to say "Remember you are going home today" and Joe is going to take you home. To this the elderly woman said "Thank God I'm going home" Then she turned to her daughter and looked deep into her eyes and said "Oh Judy you have been so good to me" I had to turn away because it was such a tender moment I had tears in my eyes... as I do now. There is something so sweet, perhaps bittersweet about the relationship between an adult child and their aging parent. It is a very difficult road to travel.

Fun, Fun, Fun

Happy Halloween!

Bounty Hunter for hire!

Twenties era flapper.

Could she be any happier? We had so much fun doing her makeup! I don't want to grow up too fast but I can't wait to buy her some Bare Essentials beauty products.

Check out the scar on this bounty hunters face. He's been around!

Looks like my flapper will be safe with her bounty hunter brother. What do you think?

So once the fam was off to trick or treat, leaving me to distribute candy to the neighborhood ghouls, I decided to set up the table. Nothing like waiting til the last minute to decorate, but there has been a lot going on so better late than never :)

Boo!

November-Writing Month!

Well November is here again! I'm happy to say goodbye to the craziness of Halloween and hello to the joys of Thanksgiving! November is write every day month for me. I'm going to do my best to renew my energies and enthusiasm here at Surfside Serenity. I do have a lot on my plate with my Dad's health situation, but I have to continue on with my life....so I don't go crazy.

That being said I'll give a very brief update on Dad's situation. This past week we went to our local oncologist in the hopes that there might be some medical option that would save Dad's voice. We found out the the cancer is a T3 or T4. It is a slow growing cancer and has probably been growing for at least a year and a half. The doctor was so kind. I had a long list of typed questions that he answered. He told us that the medical option would not work for Dad. The coarse of chemo and radiation would be so strong that the treatment would likely kill Dad. So our options are clear. Go for the surgery and save his life or do nothing and the cancer will continue to grow and eventually cause him to aspirate get pneumonia and die. The doctor bluntly said it is not a nice way to meat your maker. He also said that if it were his father he would have him go to Boston for the surgery. So I guess our decision is made. I must say that I am terrified that he will go into surgery and either not come through the surgery or that he will end up in a nursing home; something he is adamantly against. Tomorrow he will see his primary care physician and we'll talk to him about if Dad is strong enough to endure a 6 hour surgery. Sigh...... Next Friday it is back into Boston. We'll see how quickly we can get the ball rolling.

On another note the NAEYC re accreditation process is moving forward for my school. The validator came last year and was very pleasant and respectful of staff and children. She looked at my class and portfolio, two other preschool classes and the kindergarten. Off the record she said we had a beautiful school and that we were doing a fabulous job. We'll be celebrating on Tuesday with a special luncheon. Yay!

Well off to figure out diner. I'll post some Halloween pictures tomorrow. The kids looked great and I decorated the table for the evening.

Peace!

This Stinks!

So I took Dad to his surgical consult at Tufts Medical Center. The news is not good. The doctor is talking a complete removal of Dad's voice box as well as the lymph node that lit up on the pet scan if we want to treat for a cure. We were given a lot of information....none of which was retained by Dad. The doctor is taking Dad's case to the tumor board that is made up of oncologists, surgeons, radiologists and medical doctors who will look at all the information and analyze the options. We'll go back on the 30th to hear their findings. I feel awful about this entire situation. Again I did not expect the news to be so bad. After doing some research again I'm guessing that the cancer is either stage 3 or stage 4. I am unsure if Dad can tolerate the surgery and it's life altering results. I think his brain damage/short term memory loss from the years of alcohol abuse will impact how he recovers. It also impacts the decision making process. I'm feeling a huge weight on my shoulders. I also keep thinking that we should have found this earlier. Sigh.....

A Call to Action!

Come learn how we can all effectively advocate and support our schools this year.

Times are tough, and our schools are working harder than ever to help our children thrive. Join Plymouth Superintendent Gary Maestas, Plymouth Stand for Children members, and others in an important conversation about how we can support our schools even in these very challenging economic times.

When: Wednesday, October 21, 6:00-7:30 PM
Registration begins at 6:00 PM
Program begins at 6:30 PM

Where: The Loring Center, 386 Court St, Plymouth

RSVP: Please RSVP to Katie@stand.org

Bring your thoughts, your friends, and your family!
Childcare, Entertainment by Big Ryan, and dinner from Water Street Café

will be provided for children.


“The problem is that we don't have enough grassroots democracy. You can't do it alone. If you're sitting at home feeling depressed about what's happening in your child's school, you need to get out and participate in a grassroots advocacy group like Stand for Children.” – Representative Steven D’Amico

Stand for Children – 781-891-1300- www.stand.org/ma
For additional information, visit us on Facebook at the
Stand for Children- MA Plymouth Chapter page!

Scans

Well today my SIL and brother took Dad for his scans. He had a PET scan and a cat scan. If he comes back clear we will be able to consider the option of surgery to remove the cancer on his vocal chord. If not the only choice will be chemo and radiation. Not sure that he can tolerate the chemo. He has not been eating and is even having a hard time getting in his recommended number of boost drinks each day. What is even more worrisome is that his memory seems to be deteriorating. He has short term memory loss issued due to alcohol abuse but that had stabilized. I'll be speaking with his ENT doctor tomorrow as well as his primary care physician. Hopefully I'll have good news to report. Please send positive energy this way if you can.

Peace!

Relief!

Well for anyone who may be following the diagnostic drama that has been my life lately; I have good news. My ultrasound came back fine! Thank goodness. I do have cysts but they are of no consequence. Now I can focus on Dad and his health issues. I am so grateful that I am able to help him and not in need of any treatment myself.

Peace!

The First of the Results

So today was a mixed up day to say the least. After getting the children off to school the plan was to go to Dad's and get him ready for his 10:20 doctors appointment to hear the results of his biopsy.

When I arrived at Dad's house he was still lying in bed and after he got up and went in to take a shower he decided he didn't feel well and couldn't do the appointment. I think the problem came from several sources. Not enough to eat, getting up and going to quickly and perhaps some agitation due to my insistence that he be showered before going to the doctors. (something he actually didn't do to my chagrin)

Turned out that I was able to reschedule the appointment for the afternoon. We went in and the Doctor examined Dad and gave us the news. He has squamous cell cancer of the larynx. He will need to go for a couple more scans before we know the stage of the cancer. These scans will be scheduled for next week. We have an appointment with a surgeon at Tufts Medical Center in Boston and will also meet with an oncology team at our local surgery in case we have to go that route. I'm worried. I don't know how much Dad wants to fight this thing and how much his body and psyche can take. It is a huge worry and while Dad will be managing the physical aftermath I'll be managing everything else....logistics, schedules, transportation etc. Watching your parent age is so difficult. In my minds eye I still see the strapping man that I remember from my childhood. In reality he is just a shell of that man.

That is not all that is on my plate. On Monday I will go for an ultrasound on my right breast to determine if I have a mass or a cyst. Please send all of your positive energy and prayer this way as I can't imagine helping my Dad through his cancer and fighting my own battle as well.

Peace!

What a Week!

Well this has been a most draining week. We got through Dad's biopsy on Thursday. It was a long day. We reported to the local hospital at 7:15 which meant being up and over to Dad's by 6:30am. As much as I didn't want to be out and about at such an early hour I was pleasantly surprised by one of the most beautiful sunrises over the ocean. I had forgotten how lovely it is to look at the sun as it comes up on the horizon. It was truly breathtaking. I wished that I had my camera. Anyway we did not get any results from the procedure. That will come next Friday. Now Dad is on a soft food diet and working to cut down his pack a day smoking habit to 10 or fewer smokes a day by next Friday. He's doing pretty good with it with the help of some medicine and will power not to mention a daughter who hides and rations the dastardly smokes!

Dad's procedure was not the end of the trials of this week. On Friday I had to go in for a repeat mammogram. Additional digital images of both breasts were taken. On a call back visit patients wait to meet with the radiologist to get the results of the additional images. So after being rather tightly squeezed by the machine I went back into the waiting room. I finally met with the radiologist who explained why there was a need for more images, overlapping breast tissue and the like. He went on to say that while the left side appeared to have been just a case of tissue needing to be thinned out by the machine that the right side showed something. He did an exam and could feel something. When he palpated the spot it did not hurt (not good from what I have read). He called it a cyst and has me coming back a week from Monday. He will have me go for an ultrasound of the area and then again I will meet with the doctor after the exam. The ultrasound will determine if the cyst is a fluid filled cyst or something else...a lump or a mass. So the waiting begins. The ironic thing is that when Dad got the news about the mass on his vocal chord one of my first thoughts was.... oh great we'll end up doing radiation together.... Please say a prayer that this is not the case. I'll keep you updated.

Peace!

Bad News!

Well I had a bit of bad news today. Took Dad to the ear nose and throat doctor this morning to investigate the hoarse voice he has had since the beginning of the summer. I was expecting to hear polyps or irritation with an admonition to stop smoking. Well its bigger than that unfortunately. The doctor scoped Dad's throat and found a mass on his vocal chord. He said it is most likely cancerous but will need to do a biopsy right away. So life just got a bit more complicated and certainly more dramatic. I'm not sure how much of this is sinking in with Dad. Tomorrow we'll go to the hospital and the doctors office for pre surgical testing and then on Thursday he'll go in for day surgery for the biopsy. It will be about a week before we get the pathology reports back. On the 8th of October we'll go in and see what the report says. More than likely Dad will need to go for radiation therapy 5 days a week for 6 to 8 weeks. What adds more complications to the entire situation is that I still have not spoken to my brother and doubt that he will be helpful in any way.

Hitch Hiker

Look who hitched a ride into our house this weekend!

In Flight

Stretched my creative muscles today.

Going Out!

Well it's been a very long time since I have gone out on a Saturday evening. Tonight is the night. Usually 'R' plays out on either a Friday or Saturday evening and I stay home with the kids. Now that he and his band has gone it's separate ways I will have more of an opportunity to get out and reconnect with my girlfriends. I made a yummy appetizer that I'll bring to
'C's house and she has cocktails and other snacks for the few of us who are spending the evening together. It will be nice to have some adult conversation with friends.

Spent some time with Dad today. We are talking about the possibility of creating an in law addition over at our house. The plan would be to get a loan build it and then pay it off after he sells his house. I would feel so much better to have him close to us so that we can make sure he is safe. I worry that a move to a completely strange neighborhood and home would be detrimental to his health and well being. We shall see how this all goes.

Well now I'm off to get ready for tonight. I think I might need some coffee before I go out. The rain today has put me in a very sleepy state.

Peace!